story · torah

A letter to Joshua, from Moses

levtaylor

Dear Joshua,

It’s me, Moses.

Please forgive my shaky handwriting. It has been many years since I wrote anything down.

Can you believe it has already been forty years since we came to that great desert mountain and came into contact with the One God? Twice, I carried those miraculous tablets, etched with the Laws of Life, down from that mountain peak.

I could not carry them now. I would not have the strength. And I do not just mean that because of the way my hands tremble when I lift my food or the staggered steps I take when I wake in the morning. I do not have the zeal I once did. I cannot go on much longer.

Joshua, I am dying, and I will soon be dead.

I wish desperately that I could walk with you across that Jordan. All I have ever wanted was to arrive with you at that great destination to which we have journeyed.

But the Eternal One has told me that I will not go on much longer. I will die here, in the desert, and be buried in the wilderness sands.

At first, I was affronted. I cried out to my Maker. ‘Why, God? Why can I not pass over to finally see the freedom for which I have longed?’

God, who has given me so many words, remained silent.

I think I have an answer, though.

The truth is I was free the moment I first left Egypt. Before I returned with my staff and my message. Before any of those miracles and signs and visions. Before I even knew the God of Israel watched over us.

I was free as soon as I took my life into my own hands and refused to be part of the Egyptian system any longer. Once I decided not to be a slaver; not to subjugate others, nor to be subjugated, I was already then mentally emancipated.

These years we have spent in the desert were a way to work out what to do with that freedom. We have been reciting these laws and developing these rituals to find ways of living that keep us from ever going back to the oppressive ways of Egypt.

Joshua, this is what I need to tell you. Do not go back there. Not even in your mind. Do not try to own and control people. Do not allow others to own or control you. Let your soul be free, so that you can dedicate it to the God who led you here.

I am writing this down so that you can refer back to it, and remember what the point of it all was. Why we left Egypt. Why we spent all this time trudging thirsty through shrubland. Why we said we would go to that country from which our ancestors came many mythical centuries ago.

The point was not the land. The point was what we might do there. That we might be free. That we might finally see every human being as a living representation of their Creator. That we might cease using each other as means to an end but as ends in themselves. That we might truly know the Oneness of God and the deep mysteries underlying our universe.

That’s why I’m writing this now, as a reminder.

I know, I have said this all many times before. Call this my mishneh torah, my deutero-nominon; the repetition of everything I said before. It needs to be repeated, over and again, because freedom is hard to achieve and subjugation is such an easy default.

Please, read it out loud. Read it many times. Read it all the time. Even when the words feel trite and you feel like you have repeated the same phrases all your life, keep coming back to it. Remind yourself why you are here. Remind yourself what is at stake in this brief life we have been given.

I will say it again. Do not become like them. Do not worship the work of your hands. Do not think that work is the goal. Do not seek to own and control. Do not kill or oppress or endanger. Choose life. Seek God. Find holiness in everything that lives.

Joshua, I worry, even as I write these words, that you will not heed them. I know you want to. Ever since you were a boy, you used to sit at my feet and lap up every word. You were desperate to be closer to Divinity, to reach for higher things.

When I said we could conquer Canaan, only you and your friend Caleb believed me. You saw giants and were certain you could slay them. You had more faith than any of us. You had more faith than I did.

Joshua, there have been times when you carried me. Literally. In the war against the Amalekites, you put your shoulders under my arms and kept me upright. You are so, so faithful.

But where will all that zealotry go, once you are charged with leading people in the land? When you no longer have giants and Amalekites left to fight, what will you do with all your conviction?

I am asking too much of you. I am asking you to remember a life you have not lived.

You never knew Egypt. You were born here, in the wasteland, after we had already fled. You don’t remember what it was like to be owned. You cannot know what it meant to be a subject of a system that meant to destroy you.

In some ways, this means you have always been free, because you were not born a slave. In other ways, it means you have never been free, because you have never had to fight for it. You do not know what it feels like to start moving, then notice you are shackled, and to keep moving still, and to never stop moving, and to keep going with nothing but faith to carry you.

And you cannot know it. Just as I cannot follow you over the Jordan River, you cannot follow me out of Egypt. Some lessons can only be learned by life’s journey, and some journeys can only be made once.

Perhaps, when you go into that new country, you will make the place I dreamed about. Maybe it will flow with milk and honey. It might become a light unto the nations, where everyone lives with equality and dignity, where everyone can walk in the ways of God.

Or perhaps you will make a new Egypt. You, who never knew Egypt, will find new ways to conquer and subjugate and destroy. Maybe you will crown kings and build empires and wage wars.

Then what will the point have been?

I am asking too much of you. I am asking you to build a world I could not, and to do it all without my help. I am asking to you to know things you have not learnt, and to be perfect in ways I was not. I am sorry to put so much pressure on you. It is not fair.

You may not be able to do what I am asking. But at least you can remember. Tell your children where we came from. Teach them where we were trying to go.

And, then, perhaps, when they see new Egypts emerging, or they see that new Zions are possible, they will find paths through the wilderness that you and I could not see. Keep the story alive, so that the dream may continue.

Joshua, I am going to die here.

These words are all you will inherit from me.

I love you, Joshua.

Your friend,

Moses

sermon · torah

You can’t be in a community on your own

levtaylor

Can you help me build a community?

Hi, my name is Lev, and I’m a rabbi. I’m here because I need your help.

I’m looking for a Jewish community. I’ve been trying to build one on my own, but it’s been so difficult.

Last week, I put on my best clothes, and sat in my living room alone saying “amen.” Honestly, it wore off after only five minutes. So I went into my kitchen, where I lay out a lovely spread of bridge rolls and fish balls. I stood around awkwardly with crisps on a paper plate, but there was nobody to make small-talk with.

It was worse during the Holidays. At Purim, I played every character in the spiel, and acted it out to myself. At Pesach, I had the Afikoman in a place I thought my guests  would never find it, but then, I was the only guest, and I found it straight away. At Simchat Torah. I danced around fervently to klezmer, but there were no musicians, and the hora doesn’t work solo.

All I wanted to do was go to a bat mitzvah, find a friend, and kvetch about the rabbi. But there was no bat mitzvah. There was no friend. And I was the rabbi!

So I’m looking for your help. Can you tell me what I’ve been doing wrong?

It seems like in order to do anything Jewish, you need a community.

Apparently I’m not alone in coming up against this problem. In fact, the Talmud relates that even back in Babylon, rabbis needed communities in order to be Jews.

Once, according to the very beginning of Berachot – the tractate on blessings –  Rav Nahman had not been to the synagogue for a little while.

Rav Yitzhak came to see him, and said: “where have you been? Why haven’t you been at shul?”

Rav Nahman answered: “I’ve been sick.”

So Rav Yitzhak suggested: “Gather ten of your students, and we’ll hold services in your house.”

Rav Nahman said: “I don’t want to impose on anyone.”

So Rav Yitzhak suggested: “Why not get a messenger who will come and tell you when we’re doing prayers, so you can join in?”

Rav Nahman went to protest, and then Rav Yitzhak finally asked: “what’s really going on here?”

And Rav Nahman finally answered: “You have told me many things the community could do for me, but nothing that I can do for the community. I need to feel like God won’t hear your prayers unless I’m there.”*

What do we learn from this story?

First, we learn that it really is important to come to synagogue.

Second, we learn that if you can’t come to synagogue, the synagogue can still come to you.


And, third, we learn that people need to feel needed.

A synagogue is not a subscription service. It’s a membership organisation. You only get out of it what you put into it. And people only come when they have something to put in.

It is the definition of community: we are all in it together, building it together, with a shared stake in its future.

Sometimes, in previous synagogues, Jews said to me: “I’m a member, but I don’t want to be involved.” And I used to say: “don’t worry, Judaism will still be here when you need it.”

But that’s not necessarily true, is it? Judaism needs people who believe in it; who turn up, week in, week out, to keep it living. There is no Judaism without Jews, and Judaism needs every single Jew.

In our Torah portion this week, Moses teaches that if you have an extra sheaf of corn, you need to set it aside for others. When you have olives left on your trees, leave them so that people wandering by can eat them. Got leftover grapes? Share them round.

The point is, in the economy of the Torah, you don’t just feed yourself. You feed everyone. Yes, you make sure you have enough to eat, and then you give away the rest.

The same is true with our religious selves. Yes, we all need the spiritual sustenance we get from coming to synagogue. We all need the companionship; the moments of the serenity; and the support through tough times.

But, when you feel full up on Judaism, that’s when it’s time to share what you have. If your cup overflows, make sure you give the other synagogue goers a sip.

Everyone in this community needs you here. You have skills, strengths, time, and energy that are completely unique to you.

We need you.

I need you. I’m here because I’m a rabbi and I can’t build a Jewish community alone.

This synagogue is in an important moment of transition. Just a couple of weeks ago, you said goodbye to your beloved rabbi of seven years, Rene. In the next few weeks, you will spend Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur with our wonderful colleague, Daniel. And then, at Sukkot, I’ll be starting with you.

I am really hoping that this will be a long term partnership, where we will grow together. For that to happen, I really do need your help. I need you to turn up to synagogue, do mitzvot here, and make all our Shabbats and festivals meaningful. I need you to offer up your time and skills, wherever you can, to make this community run successfully.

Above all, I am asking you to make room for me.

In this week’s haftarah, the prophet Isaiah says: “Enlarge the site of your tent, extend the size of your dwelling.”

So that’s my request to you. I’m a Jew looking for a community. Can you make your dwelling a bit bigger to let me in? Can I come and be part of your tent?

I can’t be a Jew alone. And I’d like to be a Jew with you.

Shabbat shalom.

*Not exactly what he says, but it’s a sermon, and I’m taking license.

diary · israel

To a pilgrimage site with no pilgrims

levtaylor

Occasionally, I hear Jews complain that everyone is obsessed with Israel. It’s true: this country gets way more coverage than pretty much any other. The coverage of the war on Gaza greatly eclipses anything broadcast about Yemen, Congo, or Sudan.

But can we really be surprised? More than a third of the world considers this land to be holy. Jews pray in this direction three times a day. Muslims believe their prophet ascended to Heaven here. Christians believe their god was born here. For the Bahai, their founder died here.

I do not think it is controversial to say that this land is, in some sense, sacred.

It is not that this country has any more God in it than anywhere else. Religious Jews hold that the Divine Presence departed from here with the destruction of the Temple, and that God’s place is now as dispersed as Jews are throughout the world.

But for at least the last 2,500 years, religious believers have invested their hopes and directed their prayers here. That decision to imbue the land with holiness surely has an impact.

Since the late medieval period, Jews have held that there are four holy cities in the land: Jerusalem; Tiberias; Hebron; and Tzfat. As a result, people have decided to be buried in them, retire to them, have their remains moved to them, pray to them, and study in them.

Having finished my volunteering in Jerusalem, I did what a good religious Jewish boy does. I went with my boyfriend on a pilgrimage to the sacred city of Tzfat.

We took a long bus ride through the hillsides, past the holy Mount Meron and along the Sea of Galilee into this beautiful blue city.

For centuries, this town has been considered an important religious site for Jews. Almost everything a worshipper would recognise from Friday night prayers began on these ramshackle cobbled streets. Mysticism was born here.

The Shulchan Aruch, the most important law code for observant Jews, was written here. That was what I was really excited to see: the synagogue where its author, Rabbi Yosef Karo, composed his authoritative work of religious law.

This law code holds a deeply special place in my heart (as it does for most religious Jews). My copy was gifted to me by my mentor, Rabbi Laura Janner-Klausner. She studied the codes with my grandfather, who loved halachah more than any Liberal Jew of his era (or since, probably.)

It also holds a deep connection for my partner, Laurence. He is a direct descendant of Rabbi Moses Isserles, who wrote a gloss to the Shulchan Aruch, called the ‘Mapa’, which turned it into the definitive law code for Ashkenazi Jews, especially his Lithuanian ancestors.

Laurence’s ancestry is a source of great pride to me, although he still has really no idea what the significance is.

Nevertheless, I think our backgrounds have contributed to why we connect so well. Because of our upbringings in the Liberal movement, and our ancestors who cared so much about Jewish law, we both see our Judaism in ethical terms. We regularly have moral conversations about what to eat, how to handle workplace difficulties, where to give charitable donations, and how to run our home.

When we first started dating, we had long conversations on our hikes over questions of Jewish medical ethics, like euthanasia, organ donation, and brain-death. In all of these, we refer back to our principles as religious Jews, and to the great writers on these ethical questions, like Rabbi Karo.

When we arrived at the Rabbi Yosef Karo Synagogue in Tzfat, it was shut. It hadn’t been open all day. It hadn’t been open for months. It would not be opening again any time soon.

In fact, everything was shut. Not a single art gallery, synagogue, or museum was open. We were lucky enough that one coffee shop was open in the Old City, where we got a drink, and found out what was happening. Nothing was open because there was nobody to open it for.

The northern towns have been entirely evacuated for fear of rockets from Hizbullah. No pilgrims have come for a long time, fearing for their safety. There are no tourists stopping by to look at the shops.

From the perspective of the locals, the central government has abandoned them. While the military successfully intercept nearly all the missiles from Lebanon, there has been no material support for the pious Jews who live and pray here, completely dependent on tourism.

When we first got here to the north, we felt like we could barely tell there was a war on. There were so few guns and next to no propaganda posters. It turns out we were looking for the wrong thing.

What we had not noticed were all the absences. All the missing shops, traders, youth trips, international tourist groups. There was nobody speaking English, Chinese, French, or Russian. Now the absences are the most gapingly obvious things here.

For many years, critics of Israeli nationalism have warned that arrogant militarism offered no hope for the Jewish people. For this, we have been accused of being traitors, bleeding heart liberals, communists, terrorist-enablers, and doe-eyed dreamers (usually by exactly the same people.)

I wonder if they will begin to see that it is precisely their hubris and warmongering that is destroying them.

This war is bankrupting them; their economy is in tatters; they are isolated and facing criminal charges in the Hague. Many Jews now look to this land with horror and fear.

Before the founding of the state, the mainstream religious position was one of opposition to Zionism. At that time, Orthodox leaders warned that building a military state would strip the land of its holiness. For them, this was an existential and mythical claim, borne partly out of their objections to secular modernity.

Today, however, it takes on a new meaning. The land is imbued with holiness because people have decided it is so.

Without pilgrims, even the shrines of great rabbis lose their significance. In the shadow of constant war, the place is stripped of its sanctity.

I am left wondering: what happens to the Holy Land if people can’t see anything holy here?

Noah knew that the Garden of Eden was the Holy of Holies, and the dwelling-place of God; and Mount Sinai was the centre of the desert; and Mount Zion was the centre of the navel of the earth. These three were created as holy places facing each other. – Jubilees 8:30

diary · israel

The dawn will come

levtaylor

My soul looks to God as a nightguard watches for the morning. – Psalm 130:6

I used to think the night guard was watching for the dawn with eagerness, excitement, and trepidation.

I just did a night shift watching out for army vans and settlers in the village of Umm al-Khair.

Now I know that the night guard simply greets the dawn with a weary sigh.

The last time I was here, we came to see the ruins of their destroyed homes. After we left, settlers and military shot at them.

In the short time since, the settlers have ramped up their aggression. They come in large, fanatical groups to terrorise the neighbourhood.

Night is a time when they feel most at risk. They also now have the added fear that the army, which is now entirely comprised of military reservists from the Hebron settlements, will come and carry out late night arrests.

So the locals stay awake, watching. They say they cannot sleep anyway. If they shut their eyes, fear is waiting in the dark.

The Talmud teaches that there is a state that is neither asleep nor awake. A rabbinic colleague once compared this to breastfeeding a newborn in the night. Now I know another version of this non-sleep. Fear.

I could not sleep either. We were supposed to sleep in shifts of a few hours. I lay down for about four hours.

A local boy stayed up with us to practise his English through the night. He wants to go to university. He hopes he will have passed his exams, but he’s worried, because he was distracted during the maths test, as his house had just been bulldozed.

We watched for every vehicle, every sign of activity, praying that the night would be “boring.”

When dawn broke, the children flooded into the playground where we had been camping out. I spun them round on the merry-go-round and pushed them on the swings.

A five-year-old came up with a cheeky grin and wanted to tell one of the international activists something. She took out an app on her phone that translated for hi.: “Gaza is my family, they are being bombed by Israel.”

In the light of day, I could see the human impact of the occupation. Kids – normal, sweet kids – who already know they are under siege.

Destroyed homes. Murals on walls professing the village’s resilience. Women cooking breakfast and men pouring cups of tea for activists who stayed the night.

Dawn will come to this sacred scrubland.

I know that morning will one day come, after decades upon decades of occupation and war.

But daybreak will not be the moment when all is set right. It will simply be when we take stock of what happened in the night.

In the daylight, we will see all the bodies of repeated catastrophes and finally be able to mourn them.

When dawn comes, we will see all that has been destroyed, and we will realise how much work has to be done to heal and repair.

I will wait for morning to come to Palestine-Israel just like the night guard waits for the first rays of daylight: restlessly, anxiously, hoping there will be enough remaining to begin the processes of reconciliation and rebuilding.

Dawn will surely come, but that will only be the beginning.

Wait, O Israel, for God, for God holds love and redemption. It is God who will redeem Israel from all their sins. – Psalm 130:7-8

diary · israel

Water is a more precious resource than I realised

levtaylor

Needing to use the toilet when you’re out and about is always embarrassing. After days going between different spots without returning to the hostel, it is inevitable.

But that embarrassment is multiplied tenfold in the home of a West Bank Palestinian. There, water is too scarce a resource to be wasted. The cistern is never full and needs to be filled up only in extremis. You can imagine my horror at being the cause for such a use of water when visiting people in Nablus.

You can recognise which homes are Palestinian in the West Bank because they have enormous water tankards above their rooves, which they fill up whenever possible. Unlike the settlers, they are cut off from the grid and cannot access basic running water.

Consider what this means for people. Clean drinking water is hard to come by in a valley thar, yesterday, reached highs of 44°C. You have to severely ration showers in the dustiest place I’ve ever been.

Yesterday, all the Bedouin men were called up to fix a problem. There was a leak in one of the water tankards by the grazing pastures. It was a hole at the bottom of the barrel that was spilling out the region’s most precious resource. Just a small gap, but enough to risk livelihoods.

They got all their resources together over a few hours in the hottest part of the day and patched it as best they could. It will do for now, but it will not last.

It is so unjust. The authorities could simply hook them up to the water supplies. Only meters away, Israelis are having baths and watering lawns.

Yet the Palestinians cannot even access water on their own ancestral lands, as an entire machinery seeks to destroy them.

Isaac returned and dug water-wells that were dug in the days of Abraham his father, which the Philistines had stopped up after the death of Abraham. He gave the wells the names that his father had given them. But when Isaac’s servants were digging the wells in the valley, they found there a spring of fresh water. The shepherds of Gerar argued with the shepherds of Isaac saying: “this water is ours!” Genesis 26

diary · israel

We are contesting what being Jewish means

levtaylor

“Nothing that happens here is transcendental. It is just about who gets to live in and farm these hills.”

In the Jordan Valley, there is a vague tedium for we who do protective presence. We are not farmers, and I suspect I would be fairly useless at the tough manual labour these men and women do from dawn until dusk.

Once we have entertained the children, read our books, and drank enough caffeine to feel slightly buzzed, all that is left to do is talk.

My Hebrew is weak, and Arabic limited to basic conversation words, so I can only really talk properly with the one English speaker, an Israeli activist who comes here every week to support these Bedouin families.

He does not understand why international Jews care at all. “If I could forget this place, I would.”

True, it is a humanitarian catastrophe and a deep invasion of people’s basic right to life, but it is deeper than that.

We are contesting what being Jewish means. Is it these settlers, deploying the power of a large military to attack and displace the Palestinians? Is it the police officers who randomly arrest shepherds as an intimidation tactic? Or is it the ethical practices and God-fearing mentality we have developed over three thousand years?

“You (Diaspora Jews) think about us so much, but we don’t think about you at all. If anything, we have contempt for you, with all your bagels and tefillin.” (I have, indeed, brought my tefillin, and the gefilte fish I am eating look to him like weird hangovers from a shtetl past.) The whole business of our exilic life looks bizarre.

“You have to understand,” he says, “Israel is a modern European country, and like any modern European country, it hates Jews.”

I know what he means. Not, of course, the modern Israeli Jews. Not the army officers in my hostel who are sharing misogynistic stories of their sexploits. Jews like me, with our effeminate affinity for books and ideas.

Before starting work for Rabbis for Human Rights, my interlocutor had only heard of Reform Judaism as a punchline. In fact, in the context of Israeli society, where rabbis are normally seen giving blessing to bombing campaigns, even the concept of rabbis who stood up for human rights sounded like a joke.

In my own context in Britain, Judaism is so obviously a contested site. The debates about what antisemitism is are just as much debates about who is Jewish, who has the power to make pronouncements about it, and what being Jewish means in the context of the divisions at the heart of an imperial core.

In a way, holding onto Diasporic Judaism is a fundamentally conservative project. We are seeking to protect old institutions, like synagogues and Talmud study, from the unbearable weight of a modernity that sees no role for them.

Yet, even there, we are contesting what being Jewish means. Will it be complicit, for example, in the subjugation of women and silencing of queers, or will it be instrumental in their liberation? Will we be Britain’s best model minority who acquiesce to every part of nationalist capitalism, or will we be key to resisting it?

On Shabbat I hung out with an Israeli rabbinic student with whom I have quickly become friends. She is very active in the resistance and proudly part of the radical left. “Being Reform here is very edgy,” she tells me.

The idea of a feminist religion seems a contradiction in terms. Here, religion, state power, and patriarchy are synonymous. It is hard for most Israelis to imagine how faith could be counter-cultural.

Yet the Reform Jews exist in Jerusalem, where they demand a different definition of Judaism. On Saturday, they made havdallah outside the President’s residency before joining the protests against war. I have seen how their spiritual practices maximise Judaism’s emancipatory potential.

So there is a fundamental question, when we come to do Palestinian solidarity, about what being Jewish means.

And I worry that we are losing. 

I do not feel any certainty that my Judaism – this collection of Diasporic religious practices rooted in struggles of oppressed people – will win against the forces of chauvinism.

So I think my Israeli friend is wrong. There is something transcendental happening here. Across borders, we Diaspora Jews and they Palestinians have been joined to each other. Neither intended it but we are connected.

And if they cannot survive colonisation, I do not know if we will either.

This is what Hashem of Hosts, the God of Israel, says to those in Diaspora who have been exiled from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them. Plant gardens and eat from their fruit. Take wives: have sons and daughters; multiply and do not decrease. Seek the peace of the city where I have scattered you. Pray to God on its behalf. In its peace, may you find peace. – Jeremiah 29

diary · israel

We need you here

levtaylor

Last night, Eid Alhad’lin spoke on Zoom to Rabbis for Human Rights from Masafer Yatta, and explained what was happening to his village.

The settlers have cut off water and electricity, demolished homes, and shot people.

I met them last week. Their leader gave a talk to European diplomats in Arabic, then a younger man explained the situation in English. An elderly woman clutched her cane and talked to the women about the sexual harassment she has experienced from settlers.

Not long after we left, the settlers shot them, apparently as reprisal for talking to internationals. The problem, however, was not that we had been there.

It was that we had left.

There was a time when the villagers in Umm al-Khair could call the police for support or rely on the army to stand in their way. Now, if the police come, they will fit the residents for crimes and arrest them. If the army come, it is more likely that they will shoot the villagers. The settlers, too, now have guns and military uniforms.

After the settlers had shot the Palestinians, it seems the army came back to shoot them some more. When ambulances came, settlers prevented them reaching the wounded. It was a wonder the ambulance came at all. Everything in the south Hebron Hills is now geared towards expanding Jewish territory and displacing Palestinians.

The only thing that is preventing greater violence and deeper ethnic cleansing is the presence of internationals and Israelis. While they are being watched, the settlers and the army hold back.

It is, by no means, a solution, but it is the only thing in the power of ordinary individuals.

In order for it to work, however, it needs 24/7 presence from human rights activists in every village. My time here has been quiet, mostly because the village we are supporting has that constant support, predominantly from retired Israelis.

Masafer Yatta has retained a strong international presence, but in the moments where they have been left unsupported, they have experienced dire crisis.

So where are all the internationals? When I talked to Saleh in Sheikh Jarrah, he shared what an outpouring of support they had received around 2008-2009 (when I first became politicised on the issue). But where are they now?

In theory, the entire area should be swamped by radicals and peaceniks. There are millions of tweets about the issue every day, and thousands of demonstrations worldwide. If even a fraction of the people who shared links on the Internet or marched in the big cities would come and do protective presence work, the situation here would look very different.

Come with Rabbis for Human Rights. You don’t have to be a rabbi. You just have to believe in human rights.

There are so many organisations doing this too, and all are struggling to recruit. Join women’s groups supporting the olive harvest. Come with the ISM. Come with the Jewish Centre for Non-Violence. Or Tzedek Torah. I don’t care. Find the group that works for you and get out here.

You can be any age. Plenty of the activists are either university students or retired people.

You don’t have to speak Hebrew or Arabic (though I recommend learning a little).

And, yes, it is dangerous, obviously. Not long before I came out, two Israeli activists were shot. You need to be realistic with yourself about what risks you can take and what it means to you.

But we really do need people.

The settlers have realised that, with fascists in the coalition government and the window of the war in Gaza, they have an unprecedented opportunity to destroy villages and get away with it.

You have the power to reverse that tide.

Get out here.


The Eternal One is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
God is with me as my helper. I will see the downfall of those who hate. – Psalm 118

diary · israel

What can be remembered from rubble?

levtaylor

Until this morning, I had avoided the Old City. I am not sure why. I think there was some feeling of indignation in me; a certainty that there is nothing sacred about the Western Wall.

I come from a Liberal Jewish tradition that runs directly counter to such national religious architecture. The Diaspora is our permanent home; the synagogue is our replacement Temple; the Shabbat table is our everlasting altar to God.

I have prayed twice (I think) at the Kotel. It means going through body scanners and security checks through the army to stand underneath nationalist symbols surrounded by men. Nothing about it feels sacred.

This morning, however, I joined the other yeshiva bochers from CY and went down to the egalitarian section of the Kotel: Azarat Yisrael. There, there are no army checkpoints or flags. It looks more like the site of an archaeological dig. Propped up by scaffolding that snakes round towards the ancient site, it is a little oasis among ruins.

Ruins is exactly what they are. There is nothing polished about this section of wall. Broken rocks everywhere. Weeds growing in the nooks. Smashed up slabs. It looks like the site of a disaster, as it should.

On these liminal stones two thousand years ago, an ancient cult was destroyed because its adherents rebelled against a mighty empire. From then on, there was no more priesthood or ancient Israelite religion. The ruins are testament to all that was lost.

And out of that disaster came something new. Prayers replaced sacrifices; rabbis replaced priests; and the grand courtyards were replaced by storytelling.

Now the stones are a testament to the power of memory – how, by holding onto meaning, civilisations can endure beyond their physical structures.

Yesterday and Monday, I was back in the Jordan Valley doing protective presence with Bedouin families.

Their rubble is more recent than this.

Their rubble is the dirt tracks they take their goats down while settlers ride big cars down paved roads. Theirs is the ruins of their tents from settler invasions; the lack of running water while Israelis draw baths in villages above them. Theirs is the accumulating rubbish that nobody will come to collect.

I was slated in the Jewish Chronicle for signing a letter with the other rabbis that called this apartheid. What other word is there for it? What else can you call it? The only thing they have in common is the army, and their guns are aimed from the settlers towards the Palestinians.

The Bedouin have already had much of their culture reduced to rubble. Before the British imperialists arrived, they traversed the entire trans-Jordan, shifting their herds with the seasons. Then the people were walled in; confined to borders they’d not before known; deprived of the culture they had built.

What remains for them now is a rubble of their civilisation. A small enclave where their families can keep chickens. And even that is being taken away from them.

Across their land, settlers have planted Israeli flags. They are signs to remind them of their humiliation. They are only there as symbols that the Palestinians have been conquered, and will be conquered further.

Out of this destruction, they build their own semiotics, so that something of them cannot be destroyed. Kheffiyes wrapped around their heads. Necklaces with the historic lands bearing the Palestinian flag. Songs they teach their children: “I am a Palestinian; my blood is Palestinian.”

I realise now that we are not really here to prevent the destruction. That does not seem within the power of a few non-violent humanitarians. We are here to be witnesses.

We are here to see how a culture is being destroyed. We are here with a memory, which we have held since a Temple was broken two thousand years ago, that they cannot destroy a people entirely. They cannot destroy your spirit.

We are here to say: your lives are worth living and your culture worth defending.

We are here to assist in the building of memory, so that not everything can be destroyed.

May they remember, even in the rubble.

One who cries out over the past prays in vain. And if you are walking on the way and you hear a scream from the city and you say “may it be God’s will that such a scream does not come from my house” – that prayer was delivered in vain. – Berachot 54a

diary · israel

How many machine guns do you need in a synagogue?

levtaylor

A person shall not go out with a sword, nor a bow, nor a shield, nor a dagger, nor a spear. If one does, they are liable for sin. Rabbi Eliezer says: they are decorations for him. And the sages say: they are simply disgraceful, as the Torah says: “they shall beat their swords into ploughshares and their spears into pruning hooks; nation will not raise up sword against nation, nor will they learn war any more.” –  Shabbat 63a

I wish the sages had the foresight to extend their prohibition to machine guns.

On Friday morning, I sat in a session learning how to lay tefillin with other queers at Kol HaNeshama synagogue in Jerusalem. It was a wonderful expression of LGBT leadership, with meaningful intention-setting and prayer. It felt truly special.

I found it hard to concentrate, and not just because my Hebrew is too poor to keep up. Just a few chairs away from me, a man was holding a gun larger than his torso, pointed towards the floor in front of him. I don’t know what type of gun this was, or what it can do, nor do I want to.

I asked a friend why so many men now carried guns. I had assumed it was a result of Ben Gvir handing out over 100,000 gun licenses since October 7th. In this case, however, the man was a military reservist, and had no choice but to keep his weapon on him at all times.

“We used to have a policy of no weapons at LGBT events, but it’s getting increasingly hard to enforce. There is a place in the city centre where you can leave your gun with the police for an hour, but people don’t do it any more. Once they feel the safety of holding it, they don’t want to let it go.”

When I came here for the first time, 15 years ago, the thing that struck me most was how many people had enormous weapons. Now, there are far more guns, and the people holding them look so much younger.

On the train from Tel Aviv last week, all the boys sitting around me had different types of guns. In the hostel where I am staying, a large family has come for a reunion. In this family, the women wear enormous beautiful headwraps and the men wear rifles like necklaces.

I prayed with Chabad this weekend. In every service and meal, I looked around: guns everywhere. Even these Orthodox, Shabbat-observant Jews were fully-armed.

The civilians have guns. The settlers have guns. The army have guns. It seems only the peace movement does not. There is, however, something powerful about standing with the believers holding nothing but faith.

When the sun went down, I once again joined the protests for a ceasefire and a hostage deal. The police were heavily armed and facing us. I was warned they might get violent. That threat has a very different resonance to in London, where police very rarely carry guns.

I long for the day when this entire region is disarmed and demilitarised. What will it be like when Jews can pray at the Kotel, Christians at the Holy Sepulchre, and Muslims on Al-Aqsa, when nobody has a single gun? How different will the prayers from this city sound when nobody has reason to fear being shot?

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Eternal One our God. – Psalm 20:7

diary · israel

Who are my people?

levtaylor

At a time when the community is suffering, one may not say: “I will go home, and eat, and drink, and be at peace in my soul.” – Talmud Taanit 11a

I began studying this sugya in the immediate aftermath of October 7th and the subsequent war on Gaza. It was evident that people were seriously suffering, and I felt that I could not just sit at home and be at peace in my soul.

No matter where I went, the war was on my mind. I thought that, if I came here, at least my mind and body would be more aligned.

But the sugya prompted a question I did not expect: who is my community? The question of suffering and how to respond seemed already self-answered, but whose suffering ought to concern me? Who were ‘my people’?

Perhaps there was a time when ‘the community’ was just the neighbourhood. Those who lived in close proximity shared in times of trouble. The people on my street might well share with me in some suffering – missed bin collections and sewage in the river – but this suffering was specific.

I found, sometimes, I would talk to my neighbours and realise they were not obsessing about Gaza. They maybe had not thought about it for weeks. They were my community, but they also were far away from it.

In that sense, the Jews were my community. No matter their politics, every Jew was stuck in the same place of fear. Over different things, with different prescriptions, but certainly with the same neurosis.

Yet, in the weeks following October 7th, I heard people in “my” community call to flatten Gaza, and watched Netanyahu’s government heed them. I was sent the most bellicose memes, hungry for war. Most chillingly, a one sentence text from a person I previously respected: “you can’t give human rights to people who aren’t human.” How could I say these were my people? How could I claim them as my community when our values were so misaligned?

At a Friday night dinner, a friend suggested thet our community should be all oppressed people of the world. Jews, he said, were not an ethnic category, but a political one, and anyone who suffered under the burden of injustice was one of us.

Another gently chided him: “it’s too easy to only associate ourselves with victims. It stops us thinking about all the complex ways we are complicit in oppression too,” she said. “We can be both, and we need to face the problems in our own community.”

I wondered if I would find my people here among the international left, with those striving against occupation and war. There are people whom I love greatly here. I see them, beaten down in body and spirit, weary from fighting against a world that may destroy them, and destroy all they care about.

I am here to join them in struggle, but when this month ends, I know that I will go back to my own home in England, and tend to my own garden, and eat the foods I am used to, and drink that diluted squash you can only get in British supermarkets.

But my soul will not be at peace.

Perhaps all of these people are my people. Perhaps none of them are. But I will suffer on with them anyway.

Whoever they are, I know my soul will not be at peace while any of them are hurting.

And anyone who suffers with the community has achieved merit and will live to see the consolation of the community.